Thursday, October 23, 2003
Selfless
This entry is dedicated to my mother.
"You know, when you lose your temper, the person who gets hurt the most is actually your mother..." Bro. Mike
I have a proclivity for anger.When suppressed for too long, the receptacle for indignation ruptures and I will have to struggle for sanity. When incensed, I am absolutely disoriented; I have not the slightest impression of reality. If complemented with depression, my miff would be stupendously amplified. People in the ambit of my petulant yet destructive rampage gets hurt. Goddess, I am Mr Hyde when I am mired in such circumstances.
My mom( I have nothing but adulations for her) tenaciously stood by me, while I have been befuddled by choler. She provided morale sustenanace, walked with me and circumnavigated through countless intricate obstacles with me. She waited for me when I needed her to.
However, I have hurt her so much. In my depression, I threw my weight around because I was ostensibly sick. She was pertincaious though. She reminded me to take the medication. She tucked me into bed. She was the sweetest. She was the most gorgeous.
She's selfless. That is a trait I probably inherited from her. She taught me compassion and love. That is why I probably could heal. Even so, I am an ineffectual and very much an ill healer. As much as I do indulge in self-pity, I want the very best for the people around me. Like her, I do not really care about my own fortunes or happiness. You could probably call that altruistic, but then again, the healing I can do for anyone is minimal. Perhaps when I do manage to heal anyone...
Currently, my mom limits and impugns on my excursions because of her paranoia. My healing is thus inhibited. I cannot reach out to as many peoplae as before. This is the thing I desire to say to her " Mom, I love you so dearly, please, you cannot keep me at your side eternally. I thank you for being there for me and I promise I will be there at your side too. But we are selfless, we cannot belong just to each other. There are others that need our healing."
cuRRent...jer ¶ 9:02 pm
This entry is dedicated to my mother.
"You know, when you lose your temper, the person who gets hurt the most is actually your mother..." Bro. Mike
I have a proclivity for anger.When suppressed for too long, the receptacle for indignation ruptures and I will have to struggle for sanity. When incensed, I am absolutely disoriented; I have not the slightest impression of reality. If complemented with depression, my miff would be stupendously amplified. People in the ambit of my petulant yet destructive rampage gets hurt. Goddess, I am Mr Hyde when I am mired in such circumstances.
My mom( I have nothing but adulations for her) tenaciously stood by me, while I have been befuddled by choler. She provided morale sustenanace, walked with me and circumnavigated through countless intricate obstacles with me. She waited for me when I needed her to.
However, I have hurt her so much. In my depression, I threw my weight around because I was ostensibly sick. She was pertincaious though. She reminded me to take the medication. She tucked me into bed. She was the sweetest. She was the most gorgeous.
She's selfless. That is a trait I probably inherited from her. She taught me compassion and love. That is why I probably could heal. Even so, I am an ineffectual and very much an ill healer. As much as I do indulge in self-pity, I want the very best for the people around me. Like her, I do not really care about my own fortunes or happiness. You could probably call that altruistic, but then again, the healing I can do for anyone is minimal. Perhaps when I do manage to heal anyone...
Currently, my mom limits and impugns on my excursions because of her paranoia. My healing is thus inhibited. I cannot reach out to as many peoplae as before. This is the thing I desire to say to her " Mom, I love you so dearly, please, you cannot keep me at your side eternally. I thank you for being there for me and I promise I will be there at your side too. But we are selfless, we cannot belong just to each other. There are others that need our healing."
cuRRent...jer ¶ 9:02 pm
