Peace Be With You

"...they know not what they do... "Jesus Christ

I have been recently precipitated into some profound rumination.

I realised contempt mutated me into some unimaginably censorious male-version of a shrew. How I was so very fond of subjecting people to my rancourous lampoons. How I was so eager to confute that loquacious dimwit in front of me in the most noxious manner. I have became utterly...the antithesis of a healer.

Is it not the school? Or rather, the demented and sanctimonious personalities in the school? Or perhaps, the sun, the wind or the weather? Or did I not want to acknowledge I am still very much depressed? Or whatever...Or is it that I never could learn to embrace myself truly, thus engendering the scorn? I will never be part of this school. Then why in the world did I leave SJI?

I fear. I loathe. The prospects of returning to school next year. The sudden chill. The perplexed stab in my gut. It eviscerates me absolutely. The people I have to abide with. It is a terror, immensely stark.

What can I do? Do I persist in praying for peace for them and try to refrain from my obloquy. Will I ever be able to contain my jeremiade? Could I ever be like Jesus who pardoned people's trangressions because he attributed it to ignorance? Could I really sincerely say "Peace Be With You" to them?

cuRRent...jer  ¶ 10:16 pm